Philip LaFresque

Name: Philip LaFresque

Canon: Penumbra Trilogy

Age: 30

Bio: if we are lucky, by the time you read this, I will be dead;

Philip LaFresque is an ordinary man caught up in extraordinary circumstances. He has no special abilities. He has no heroic destiny. At the end of his journey, he will die or -- if he's unlucky -- remain trapped inside his mind for the rest of his life.

it took me almost a year to book the last flight I would ever take;

Many of Philip's actions are dictated by fear, reluctance or both. It takes him nearly a year to gather the courage to go to Greenland in search of his father, a mysterious figure whose absence colored his childhood. When he ends up inside an abandoned mine, it's only because he was seeking shelter from a snowstorm. When he encounters monsters inside said mine, he doesn't fight them like some sort of an action hero -- he hides. (In fact, the creatures in the mine terrify him so much that he can't handle looking at them without experiencing a panic attack.)

As a fearful individual without any real combat skills, Philip tends to be conservative when it comes to taking risks. He will examine the options, weigh the options, examine them again, and then maybe -- maybe -- he will move forward.

Despite his tendency towards pessimism and anxiety, however, Philip is extremely strong-willed. Once he settles on a decision (see: going to Greenland), he follows through with an impressive tenacity. It doesn't matter if he's dying of an alien virus or if his only ally is dead at his feet -- Philip will keep going until his legs give out.

no man's immune to the shameful trappings of curiosity, and my humanity got the better of me;

Philip doesn't recognize his stubbornness as a strength, however -- instead, he sees it as an almost shameful sign of being human. In his mind, curiosity equates to stupidity, and an unwavering survival instinct equates to arrogance. He views the decisions he makes emotionally as inferior to the ones he makes rationally, believing both a) that he should know better and b) that he will never know better because he'll always be a victim of human nature.

Because he judges his own emotions so harshly, he spends a lot of time dampening them down. When he's frightened, he does not yell. When he's angry, he does not snarl. In a hopeless situation, he will alternate between thinking about himself as an abstract "human" and making wry, sardonic comments -- anything to keep himself from thinking about his mortality in concrete terms.

That being said, his desire to see things through to their natural end is sometimes more of a compulsion than a rational decision. He will forgo his own safety to find "answers" and will knowingly walk into a trap if it means he has the opportunity to progress. Halfway into his life-threatening adventure, Philip decides to stop looking for an exit and instead willingly goes deeper into the mine, ignoring the (very correct) advice that continuing onward would lead to his death.

the Tuurngait was right -- I am entirely unlike it. I had more in common with Clarence;

At some point during the first game, Philip contracts the Tuurngait virus, a sentient disease that breaks down the host's brain so that they can ultimately be absorbed into an alien hivemind. Individuals who are exposed to this virus tend to experience deja vu, auditory distortion, paranoia and hallucinations. An unlucky few develop a split personality alongside these other symptoms.

Clarence is a loud, obnoxious, angry sadist who taunts Philip for being human, tortures him with hallucinations and tries to convince him to give up and die. In many ways, Clarence is an entirely separate entity from Philip who just happens to live inside his head -- he needs to work to access Philip's memories, for instance, and he very much considers himself to be part of the alien hivemind that is trying to absorb him.

In other ways, however, Clarence is very much the same as Philip -- just a darker, less refined version. He sees humans as weak, illogical "monkeys," yet does little to control his own emotions. He screams when he's afraid. He snarls when he's angry. Whereas Philip hides his emotions, Clarence lets them explode outwards, taking down anyone or anything in his path.

Philip copes with this new, malevolent personality by ignoring it. Every time Clarence asks him a question, he keeps his lips tightly shut. Every time Clarence makes him hallucinate or blocks out his vision, he flinches but doesn't speak. He doesn't break. At first.

I held my anger to tight to my chest, and I used it. I used it to keep going;

Towards the end of Penumbra: Black Plague, Clarence causes Philip to hallucinate and kill his only ally. Instead of breaking down or mourning, Philip's mind switches into another gear entirely: cold, unyielding rage.

Because of Philip's ability to convincingly swallow his emotions, Clarence doesn't even recognize that he's angry at first. He continues teasing him like normal, even going so far as to mock the woman he just tricked Philip into killing. It takes him several minutes to recognize that there is something fundamentally different about his host now, and that his own life is at stake. He begs Philip not to expel him from his mind with the newly obtained cure, but Philip silently and mechanically moves forward anyway, driven by a deadly combination of vengeance and persistence.

if fate frowns, we all perish;

In summary, Philip is an unassuming man who prefers the scientific method and regularly muses about human nature. He keeps his emotions tightly controlled and tends to move cautiously within his environment, preferring to observe before making any decisions. His senses -- and his sanity -- have been compromised by a sentient virus named Clarence whom he tries desperately to ignore. He has the capability to be merciless. He does not give up.

More information can be found in his app.